Panic Attack
It's still seems early to me but then again I didn't get to bed until 4:30 this morning. I woke at 6:30 with a panic attack and could not figure out why it lasted for a long time and it kinda scared me. The first thing is that I hardly ever have them. I mean I can work myself up over something such has deadlines and such but not actually have a panic attack. I felt like something was VERY wrong in the family. I couldn't explain it and it was all so strange.
I knew I was NOT in any danger but I did at one point feel as though I was having a heart attack.....I just couldn't breathe and I had been sound asleep. So anyway Frank finally got me calmed down and I went back to sleep (after a while) but never pin pointed why this happened out of the blue.
I'll be doggone if I didn't have a message from Melissa this morning that Amanda had went into to labor (she's been in the hospital since Tuesday, which I knew she has been there and that they couldn't seem to get the baby to come out) anyway Melissa leaves the message that it's early morning she's on her way to the hospital and that Amanda is having an emergency C-Section due to complications. She would call when she could and that she was in a hurry because Amanda was scared and she brought the cell phone with her for updates but wouldn't call until she had news one way or the other on what was going on. Needless to say as I am writing this there is still NO NEWS...I tried to call but all I get is voice mail and such so I am waiting to hear what has happened.
I don't know if what happened to me this morning is somehow cosmically related to this.....because Amanda and I are NOT that close. I will say this day started kinda twilight zoneish....
And I have only had two other panic attacks one was when my grandmother died and I felt really sad for two days before and then had a panic attack that evening and my mom called and said grandma passed away earlier in the evening. That attack I thought was DUE TO DEPRESSION so I dismissed it.
The other was the day son tried to commit suicide and well any mother would panic over that......So I truly don't know and so this got me to thinking today. Do when know when deep down inside when out loved ones are in crisis or dying?
Do only SOME people know? Or is this all just a crazy side effct of life and stress?
I think I have a high intutive nature I have for years dreamed things that have happened before they happened. But I am an author and I think we author can be highly intuned to people's nature and we pay attention to the details of people's personality and pick up on things that others don't often see. I suspect Actors, and other people do this too.....I am not trying to box in people into boxes to me a farmer can do this just as well but I do think that some people are more highly developed in certain senses and I am today realizing I might be one of them. How strange...........I just wish I could pinpoint the good stuff coming I hate that it's always a crisis that seems to pivitol insight.....
Anyway I'm still not quite relaxed from it today. But I am exceptionally tired and waiting to hear about mother and baby.
Hugs, Pamela
I knew I was NOT in any danger but I did at one point feel as though I was having a heart attack.....I just couldn't breathe and I had been sound asleep. So anyway Frank finally got me calmed down and I went back to sleep (after a while) but never pin pointed why this happened out of the blue.
I'll be doggone if I didn't have a message from Melissa this morning that Amanda had went into to labor (she's been in the hospital since Tuesday, which I knew she has been there and that they couldn't seem to get the baby to come out) anyway Melissa leaves the message that it's early morning she's on her way to the hospital and that Amanda is having an emergency C-Section due to complications. She would call when she could and that she was in a hurry because Amanda was scared and she brought the cell phone with her for updates but wouldn't call until she had news one way or the other on what was going on. Needless to say as I am writing this there is still NO NEWS...I tried to call but all I get is voice mail and such so I am waiting to hear what has happened.
I don't know if what happened to me this morning is somehow cosmically related to this.....because Amanda and I are NOT that close. I will say this day started kinda twilight zoneish....
And I have only had two other panic attacks one was when my grandmother died and I felt really sad for two days before and then had a panic attack that evening and my mom called and said grandma passed away earlier in the evening. That attack I thought was DUE TO DEPRESSION so I dismissed it.
The other was the day son tried to commit suicide and well any mother would panic over that......So I truly don't know and so this got me to thinking today. Do when know when deep down inside when out loved ones are in crisis or dying?
Do only SOME people know? Or is this all just a crazy side effct of life and stress?
I think I have a high intutive nature I have for years dreamed things that have happened before they happened. But I am an author and I think we author can be highly intuned to people's nature and we pay attention to the details of people's personality and pick up on things that others don't often see. I suspect Actors, and other people do this too.....I am not trying to box in people into boxes to me a farmer can do this just as well but I do think that some people are more highly developed in certain senses and I am today realizing I might be one of them. How strange...........I just wish I could pinpoint the good stuff coming I hate that it's always a crisis that seems to pivitol insight.....
Anyway I'm still not quite relaxed from it today. But I am exceptionally tired and waiting to hear about mother and baby.
Hugs, Pamela
posted by Pamela | 10:24 AM
1 Comments:
A mother's bond is strong. And I think some people sense things easier but that we all have the capacity. After all - we only use 10% of our brains right? And I think its often bad stuff because it is soooo strong.n I have felt it when family and friends died before (right at the moment) but not panic attacks -- just a sense of knowing or sadness. I hope Amanda and the baby are okay. Let me know!
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