Friday Freedom
It's Friday and I usually love them but today was another hit the ground running day for me. Calls from everyone, trying to clean, a fast run to town but forgot the post office run so will have to do that when I return from Kansas City.
I am still not prepared for this weekend. My house is still not completely the way it needs to be and I still have a whole to-do list before Sunday. The things is I keep crossing through things only to have to add more. The next time one of my kids gets married I am moving to Alaska none of them are cold weather people.LOLOLOL............
On the brightside I found some summer clothes I forgot I had (well I thought I lost) and anyway now I have plenty of black and red to wear!! If only I could find that brown top that I lost and the pink top that went with the slacks I would be set but I guess it should be good enough to find anything around here.
Oh another bright spot was the black top I orginally lost earlier this week turned up. What is everyone's weekend plans?
I am thinking of getting a bottle of focus factor and seeing how that works for concentration because I am having a terrible time with concentrating on anything, books, stitching, writing (although I haven't written anything much this week but started the plotting a little on the book) still I need something.
I am trying to focus on the good things this weekend. Seeing children, grandchildren it will be fun to see Amy, I am trying not to think that my mother is coming, LOLOL, well one of my mothers is coming. There are days when Iwish I was hatched. My parents really don't have much use for me. So it's always stressful and in a way I guess it's made me a little hard about things. I didn't live up to their standards even though I'm an author and have wonderful kids and so on.....one set really wanted me to become a nurse the other set thought I should get a PHD or move away and never come home.LOLOLOLOL...
My sisters all feared better all both became nurses although one doesn't use hers and is a truck driver now. But the important thing is she HAS the degree....they didn't encourage me to do things that interested me. But all that is okay now that I am almost 50 well I'm 48 soon to be 49 but you see what I mean I think nothing is worse than still blaming your parent for things at this age so I usually don't say much because it's not going to change them or me. Normally my parents go their own way. But this weekend has me kinda emotional....not because of Melissa but because of moms. So okay it's just plain hell freezes over week.LOLOL.
I am sure it will all be fine but for some reason I have the jitters. I can tell one thing for sure....I want the focus OFF OF ME THIS WEEKEND.....I do not need to stress of being singled out it's about Melissa and Travis, I want to blend into the background. Anyway life is too short to feel inadquete now.
I am still not prepared for this weekend. My house is still not completely the way it needs to be and I still have a whole to-do list before Sunday. The things is I keep crossing through things only to have to add more. The next time one of my kids gets married I am moving to Alaska none of them are cold weather people.LOLOLOL............
On the brightside I found some summer clothes I forgot I had (well I thought I lost) and anyway now I have plenty of black and red to wear!! If only I could find that brown top that I lost and the pink top that went with the slacks I would be set but I guess it should be good enough to find anything around here.
Oh another bright spot was the black top I orginally lost earlier this week turned up. What is everyone's weekend plans?
I am thinking of getting a bottle of focus factor and seeing how that works for concentration because I am having a terrible time with concentrating on anything, books, stitching, writing (although I haven't written anything much this week but started the plotting a little on the book) still I need something.
I am trying to focus on the good things this weekend. Seeing children, grandchildren it will be fun to see Amy, I am trying not to think that my mother is coming, LOLOL, well one of my mothers is coming. There are days when Iwish I was hatched. My parents really don't have much use for me. So it's always stressful and in a way I guess it's made me a little hard about things. I didn't live up to their standards even though I'm an author and have wonderful kids and so on.....one set really wanted me to become a nurse the other set thought I should get a PHD or move away and never come home.LOLOLOLOL...
My sisters all feared better all both became nurses although one doesn't use hers and is a truck driver now. But the important thing is she HAS the degree....they didn't encourage me to do things that interested me. But all that is okay now that I am almost 50 well I'm 48 soon to be 49 but you see what I mean I think nothing is worse than still blaming your parent for things at this age so I usually don't say much because it's not going to change them or me. Normally my parents go their own way. But this weekend has me kinda emotional....not because of Melissa but because of moms. So okay it's just plain hell freezes over week.LOLOL.
I am sure it will all be fine but for some reason I have the jitters. I can tell one thing for sure....I want the focus OFF OF ME THIS WEEKEND.....I do not need to stress of being singled out it's about Melissa and Travis, I want to blend into the background. Anyway life is too short to feel inadquete now.
posted by Pamela | 11:15 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Pamela!
I just had to comment on your "moms" problems...isn't it interesting that even though we're grown women, successful and happy, with wonderful lives...we still fear parental censure? I'm the same way as you, btw. My mother and I have always had a rough relationship, with me never measuring up in her eyes, etc.
I wonder what age it is when we finally are able to just let it all go? And I also think you were incredibly brave to be there with "the moms", lol. I do hope that they weren't able to diminish the joy of that day for you...you deserve all the happiness you are given hon!
Hugs!
Wendy
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